Feedback

My friend Paul, who hadn’t seen me in a while, approached me at the gym and told me he didn’t say “hi” at first because he didn’t recognize me! He said that I not only looked different, but I was moving differently as well. He made a point of telling me that it wasn’t a subtle difference, but a marked difference.

I have often found an analogy between the extreme rehabilitation I am going through and losing weight. If you see someone every day while they are losing weight, you may not notice a difference. But, if you see someone less frequently, you will notice a difference as they shed those excess pounds.

Friends that I see less frequently have a great perspective on my progress. This feedback is especially important since measurable changes, like stepping on a scale, are not readily available.

Any change that I do notice is important, but I have to record it on a very long-term chart. Big changes, like going from the wheelchair to the walker to the cane to nothing, are notable, but now it seems to be more subtle changes that are important. Am I taking longer strides? Am I bending my left knee more when I walk? Am I getting fewer comments about being drunk?

While Paul may notice major changes in me, it is more difficult to see these changes in myself. I still hesitate, for example, when I step onto or off of a curb. These negative thoughts can be overwhelming, if i don’t try to expunge them. Sometimes it’s hard to remember, for example, that a year ago, I always hung on to something when dealing with a curb. A year ago, I didn’t run errands by myself, or make my own phone calls. Today, I went to the hardware store and the bank by myself.

I realize that running my own errands may not seem like a victory, but it’s a change. Truthfully, any change is good. Thanks, Paul, for the feedback!