Altruism? or Not!

Altruism

What is it and why is it a necessary part of animal societies? I have taught courses that included animal behavior during most of my teaching career. You’d be surprised at the altruism that takes place in non-human, animal societies. Vampire bats share food (yes, blood) with each other, vervet monkeys shriek alarm calls to warn other monkeys of danger, and honey bees scout nectar sources to make it easier for the rest of the hive to find food.

Do humans rely on altruism as well? Recently, I was told that I use my kids and friends to perform tasks for me for free because I feel entitled to the help due to my disability. This person was extremely agitated after my suggestion that our two 12-year old boys could help an adult male friend of mine move a couch. After he dropped off a list of contractors that I could hire to perform such laborious tasks, we exchanged a series of emails in which he stated that he could not condone my “approach to things.” He was not only upset about moving the couch, but he also stated that I feel entitled to ask kids for favors like “hauling” groceries in from the car. My first response to that is that it didn’t take brain surgery for me to ask kids to bring groceries in from the car! My second response is that using the word “hauling” instead of “carrying” doesn’t make a bag of frozen peas any heavier!

This man’s attitude is definitely an exception to the offers of help and friendship I’ve received from other humans. Men, in particular, like to fix things. Most of the men in my life do not deal well with unsolvable, emotional problems. But a broken toilet? No problem! Women are better at dealing with my emotional meltdowns.

While this series of emails, which got more vicious with each round, upset me a bit, I made a joke out of it. I told my kids that I’m an  evil, child-abusing witch, and that they’d have to live with that! After seeing Wicked so many times that the ACTOR playing Fiyero actually waved to my daughter during the show (I didn’t believe it either, but I actually saw it), witches are COOL–even Wicked ones!