DMV!!!

I went to the DMV today to try to get my driver’s license renewed. Simple, right? For me, it’s more complicated than brain surgery! My adventure with the DMV began last October (2009) when I misplaced my license and had to get a duplicate. The form asked if I had had any medical conditions occur in the past five years. Since my abnormalities are not hidden, I knew I couldn’t get away with lying, so I told the whole truth. They made me jump through more hoops than Flipper! After taking two behind-the-wheel tests and enduring their condescending attitude, my license was reinstated at the end of January. I thought I was safe.

I went for my renewal today and I learned that the DMV apparently has a rare condition that provides them with no short-term memory. I had to fill out the same paperwork about my medical condition, they gave me the same vision test (which I can pass in my right eye, but not my left), and they want to schedule me for another drive test!

They had no record of everything I had just gone through to get my license back. The difference this time is that they also made me take a written test. If you’re not 16, you probably haven’t taken a written test in a while, and you may not realize how stupid some of the questions are. About half are genuine safety questions, and half are designed to test your ability to memorize the handbook. The questions are just…wrong. Here are a couple of examples:

Which statement is true about motorcyclists and motorists? A. Motorcyclists are not allowed to drive faster than other traffic during congested road conditions. B. Motorcycles have the same rights/responsibilities as other motorists. C. Motorcycles are heavier than other vehicles and are less affected by wind/rain.

I chose the correct answer, B, but my question is, “If motorcycles are allowed to drive faster than other traffic during congested road conditions, how does that not conflict with them having the same rights/responsibilities as other motorists?

Did you know that if you’re in an accident, you must exchange insurance, vehicle registration and your address, not just insurance and registration? Doesn’t your vehicle registration have your address on it? It’s like requiring someone to tell you their date of birth and their age!

I’ve been sitting in my car writing this for the past hour and it just dawned on me why this experience has been so upsetting. Most DMV workers are like the Dementors from Harry Potter. Their mission is to suck all joy and happiness from your soul. Next time you go to the DMV, look around. Noone is happy.

I’ve got to go find some cranberries!

PS: After writing this blog, I went to the gym and felt better!