Glossophobia?

“Most moms say they would die for their kids; my mom loves me enough to live.” I included this heart-wrenching quote from my daughter in two presentations I gave recently. I knew that some members of my audience were potential future health professionals, and I wanted them to get a glimpse of the emotional side of me as a patient. I couldn’t read this out loud to my audience. It was the first time I ever got choked up in the middle of a lecture. Thankfully the next slide was technical, so I was able to regain my composure. Lecturing to a group of people had always consumed my whole mind in such a way that I was able to escape my life for a short time. In this case, a bit of brain anatomy helped push the lump out of my throat. I put my mind in science mode and made it through the rest of my presentation (without lumps!).

Throughout my career, I had always been able to create my own opportunities and merge my personal life with my professional life. Before my surgery, my passion for marine life had guided my career. After my surgery, my passion expanded to include a study of brain disorders, and I was still able to merge my interests with my teaching career. Whales to Brains? That’s a pretty big leap, but my commitment to education remained strong and I was able to incorporate my own medical dramas into my teaching. This modification of my professional duties was a good compromise. I wasn’t completely abandoning my teaching career, just reformatting it. I had always loved teaching. Giving a good lecture could lift my spirits even on my most dreary days.

The presentations I gave have whet my appetite for giving presentations. Although public speaking is certainly more difficult for me now, this seems to be the direction my life is meant to take. Yes, I feel awkward presenting this version of myself publicly. My appearance is not as polished or professional as it used to be. At times, my speech is slurred or difficult to hear. It is a little bit embarrassing to present myself in my “less than stellar” state, but the alternative of hiding under my bed doesn’t work for me. Thankfully, I don’t have glossophobia, a fear of public speaking, which, incidentally, ranks higher than a fear of death! I am also comfortable in the knowledge that sharing my story can inspire people to work hard for their goals without letting life’s lemons stop them. I am seeking additional venues at which to present my story. If you know of an appropriate club or group within the San Francisco Bay Area, please let me know.